The giraffe (Giraffa camelopardalis) is a marvelous animal, better known than its forest-dwelling relative the okapi and countless other charismatic artiodactyls in large part due to its proportions. As a result, there has been no shortage of speculation about the origins of the giraffe’s iconic neck. Making things up about giraffes is a well-established tradition: Timotheus of Gaza (~500 CE) reports that “the giraffe is an Indian animal; and it is born from the intercourse of different animals” (presumably a